"HONESTLY, I WANNA SEE YOU BE BRAVE." -SARA BAREILLES

This morning, a friend of mine sent me a story on Instagram by a woman who is looking for a personal assistant. While this job may not seem like anything to write home about to some. It is a dream job for me. I shine best when supporting others. And while I have an assertive personality and do well when I lead, my strength comes from a supporting role. This woman is empowered, successful, vibrant, and strong. I would feel lucky to work for her and with her on all of the amazing things that she is accomplishing right now. As soon as I talked to my friend about it, I sent her my resume and an email telling her a little about myself. But, what this really did for me was so, so much bigger than it seems.

For the past year, I would say, I have been stopping myself from growing in my career and in my love life in fear that something could get in the way of moving to Spain. I have been so fixated on that opportunity that it has quite literally stunted my growth in every other aspect of my life, other than mentally. I have been sitting here, waiting. Just waiting. And there have been several times when I have thought to myself, "what are you doing?" A year of your life just gone because you're so fixated on going to Spain. What if something great comes along? What if someONE great comes along? But, I continue to keep my head down, not moving forward in any career, not dating, no doing anything, really, with this idea that things will change when I get to Spain.

Here's the thing. Things don't change when you go anywhere. Problems and issues are always going to stay problems and issues, unless you deal with them. And moving across the world is not going to change this. This is something I was already aware of, which is why I deferred Spain for a year, last year, so that I could mentally prepare myself and work through all the trauma and heartache that I had dealt with. I wanted to be truly mentally healthy before I left. And while I feel like I am there. I am ready to move forward and move to Spain, why am I so obsessed with this move?

I have always been obsessed with travel but recently became even more obsessed with international travel. In fact, my passion to travel internationally and my ex-husband's lack of desire to do so, played a role in my divorce. Traveling is like my equilibrium. It is my center. It's what brings my heart and my soul back to neutral. When my life and my head are chaotic, traveling brings me a kind of peace I've never known. So, when I got divorced, had no children, and could do ANYTHING I wanted, naturally, moving across the world sounded like the best option! And man, it really is. Moving to Spain is an unbelievable opportunity. But what about all the other opportunities?

This year, I have really opened myself up to learning more about the United States and what it has to offer. I got big into hiking and being outside and I had NO idea there were even hiking trails in the DFW area. I am just starting to realize that if I was to stay home, it does not mean that traveling for me is over. However, only an amazing opportunity like the one I heard about this morning could get me to stay. And I still plan to go to Spain as long as no other opportunities like this one or others of its caliber present themselves. But, it just really got me thinking.

I posted a poem on Instagram the other day that said, "We chain ourselves to freedom, then call ourselves free." And I feel like this is so relatable to my situation right now. Yes, I am free to do whatever I want! Yes, I can go anywhere, do anything, be anything. Nothing is holding me back. And that level of freedom, not a lot of people have. But, am I really free if I chain myself to one, specific thing or opportunity without keeping one eye looking around for something great or better? Are you ever really growing if you're just going in one direction at a time, never willing to stray? I see this pattern in myself. I like a guy and I'm obsessed with THAT guy. Allowing all the other potential winners to be blurry in my view. I want a job and I obsess over THAT job. Not allowing myself to see other opportunities that may be right in front of my face.

When I was a young girl, Steve, who is the man that I would consider one of my stronger male role-models in my life. And a man who loved me more than I've ever been loved. I would consider him the closest thing to a father that I've ever had. He said to me, "You have to keep your head up, girl. Life is happening all around you. And if you keep your head down, you're gonna miss it. Never stop looking around." And he's right. This has been an eye opening experience for me and such a simple one at that. But sometimes the simplest things come in the biggest packages.

I am still preparing to move to Spain. And my god, would I love every minute of it. But, I am now open to what could happen before then, during that, after that. I am making a vow to myself to stop becoming so dominated by one thought at a time. To open my mind further than it already is to chance. And maybe with this I will find more than I ever thought I was looking for before. And if I was given the opportunity to take this job, maybe I would. Maybe it's what's been waiting for me. And maybe it's not. Life is nothing but trial and error. We will never know until we try. Today's lesson is simply: be present, be open, be humble, and follow your heart. If you do those four things, you might just be unstoppable.