“I’M STEPPING OUT INTO THE GREAT UNKNOWN, I’M FEELING WINGS THOUGH I’VE NEVER FLOWN..” -JOSS STONE

I ate a HUGE meal last night. HUGE. Wine, appetizers, entree, and yes, duh, dessert.

Before I found food freedom, I would hate myself this morning. I would blame all of my bodies flaws on that one meal.

“You don’t have a thigh gap because you ate too much like a fucking loser.”

“You have dimples on your legs because you’re disgusting and had to eat the entire restaurant, what’s wrong with you?

“Look at that chin! Way to go! Had to have dessert last night, too, huh?? Pathetic.”

Truth. One meal can never make you fat.

My biggest issue was starving myself or eating 500 calories a day and then binging my body weight. And although I never purged, I was still sick in the head. I would starve, then eat all the food, and then just stand in a mirror and say horrible things to myself, over-work at the gym, and then ultimately binge again because I “deserved it.”

“If you want to be a fat cow, then be one.”

Needless to say, my relationship with food has always been a negative one. But I work every day to change that.

How many times have you started a diet by writing down all the things you’re not allowed to have?

-bread

-pasta

-fast food

-soda

-salt

-oil

-mayonnaise

-fruit

-salad dressing

My question is: why restrict anything? Yes. Even fast food and soda.

I want you to know that I understand how uncomfortable it is to hear that. To even think about including fast food and soda into your diet. But what if you did. What if you just ate when you wanted, what you wanted, anything you wanted? Don’t you want to cringe right now?? Just wait.

Here’s what will happen:

You will stop romanticizing food. You will not eat as much as you do after a month of not eating your favorite whatever. You will not feel the need to sneak food or reward yourself. You will not hate yourself for eating it. You will actually enjoy what you’re eating because you won’t be thinking the whole time, “shit, I’m not supposed to be eating this..”

I have found pleasure in food again. I have an understanding now, after years and years of hating myself and the food that I ate, that food is fuel. And that my body knows how to digest it. And it knows how to eliminate it. It knows how to take what’s good for it, absorb it, and eliminate the rest. It knows more than you. It’s better than you. It’s an incredible machine that is smarter than all of us. So let it do it’s job.

Food freedom has been an incredible experience for me. I used to buy candy and eat the entire box in one sitting. Anything I bought that was bad, I felt like I had to eat it all right then because tomorrow I wasn’t allowed to eat it. So if you’re gonna eat it, then you better eat it all.

Now, one bag or box of candy lasts me three days. I don’t feel rushed to eat it. I don’t feel like I NEED it. Because I haven’t restricted it. And this is everything for someone like me.

I know that the idea of food freedom is terrifying. I fought it for years. I was so sure that I knew best. But think back to 40 years ago. Before diet culture. Before anyone even considered restricting carbs and fat. And before anyone worked out as much as we do now.

What did their bodies look like? Take a look yourself.

Diet culture has made us fat, guys. And I encourage you to do your own research on this because it’s real. And I know you don’t want to see it. I know you don’t want to accept it. But just take a look. At the people, at the numbers. It’s real. It’s fact. And it’s terrifying.

Here is one amazing fact about my own journey, before I let you go:

Before food freedom, when I was secretly binging food in my car where no one could see me, I was 245 pounds. I am now 215 lbs. And I eat EVERYTHING that I ate when I was binging. All of it. But I don’t feel the need to eat it. I don’t fantasize about it. I don’t romanticize it. And it’s the best feeling in the world.

And the reason I don’t lose the weight I know I could lose right now is because I am still healing. I am still working on my relationship with food. And until I feel stable enough to lower my portions and start thinking about incorporating healthier foods, and especially before I start working out again, I want to know that I can do it without slipping back into my old ways.

Accept your weight. It is not a tragedy. It is you. You are beautiful. And your weight does not define you. It does not measure your worth. Allow yourself to heal from all the negative things you said to yourself or done to yourself and I promise you will find happiness in the things you eat, rather than hatred.